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 My first attempt at a satire, want critique 
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Goron Warrior
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Post My first attempt at a satire, want critique • Posted: Sun Jun 15, 2008 9:19 pm
Well, while I'm waiting for my first Zgames content assignment, I figured I might try to write a satire, I might submit this to the "fan satire" section, but I wanted critique. Here it is.

The next Zelda, a murder mystery?

Zelda fans from all over the world were shocked and chaotic today at e3 '08, when Eiji Aonuma announced the next Zelda would be a murder mystery. He quickly immersed the audience in one of the arguably worst plots we've ever heard. Tingles dead and all the evidence points to Link. Eiji began to explain that the whole sad existence of the game is based around Link proving that he was not the true suspect.
He didn't get much further though, because at this point the crowd broke into a riot and Aonuma had to be escorted off the premise by armed security. His shouts back at the upset fans could be clearly heard above the ruckus. It was in Japanese of course, but we've had translators quickly give us his exact words, even though his emotion was obvious.

"I don't understand you people anymore! You say you want something different, and you want Tingle dead! I give you this, and you do this to me? I quit. I'm done with you people. You said you wanted a realistic Zelda game, I gave you Twilight Princess. What did you say? 'It just wasn't Zelda'. You're all insufferable whiners the whole lot of you!"

The crowd was forced to disperse, but not after they'd done thier damage. The wake of thier destruction? Well, lets just say the statue of Link left headless and the 'We want shiggy back!' written in crayon on the projector screen wasn't even the half of it...

This day will, undoubtedly, forever be remembered in infamy by Zelda fans. The day Zelda broke. . .or the day the love for Eiji died. . . we really haven't decided on a name yet.


What you guys think? Keep in mind, this is my first attempt. . .

LH :wink:

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Sheikah Elder
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Post Posted: Sun Jun 15, 2008 9:24 pm
Not bad. Not bad at all, was a bit short, but other than that I like it.

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Goron Warrior
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Post Posted: Sun Jun 15, 2008 9:27 pm
Yeah, I thought it was a bit short, but I didn't want to make it sound forced....

LH

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Goron Warrior
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Post Posted: Mon Jun 16, 2008 1:37 pm
Just let the ideas flow man, it's a great start, delve deeper and write it down, but only when the ideas mesh together and sound right will it be a classic. thanks for sharing it, who knows, you might be able sell it as a Zelda book >_> lucky son-of-a-*Navi*

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