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 Know Your Sages 
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Hylian Squire

Joined: Sun Jun 25, 2006 4:32 pm
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Post Know Your Sages • Posted: Sun Jun 25, 2006 5:03 pm
There was this thing on a TV show called Know Your Stars, how about Know Your Sages? That would be funny...

Rauru hasn't bathed in 17 years... you think there's a working shower in the sacred realm?
Nabooru wears red contacts, her eyesight is horrible.
Ruto pees in the pool :oops:


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Goron Warrior
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Joined: Fri Aug 26, 2005 7:36 pm
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Post Posted: Mon Jun 26, 2006 10:43 am
Impa. She's not a real Sheikah.
Impa: How dare you!
Impa. The only reason she became Zelda's nurse maid is because she slept with the King.
Impa: What?! I never slept with anyone!
Impa. She's royalphobic.
Impa: Is that even a real condtion?
Impa. That is not her natural eye color.
Impa: It most certainly is!
Now you know Impa, the royalphobic, Sheikah-wannabe that slept with the King.
Impa: It's all a lie, people!! Don't listen to this voice!!

Umm... do you think that was a little... too... umm... Iduno. I was gonna say that she was a virgin, but I thought that would've been pushing it.

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Hylian Knight
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Joined: Fri May 05, 2006 8:06 pm
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Location: TIME WIZARD LAND!
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Post Posted: Mon Jun 26, 2006 3:23 pm
So thats how it goes....


Saria.She LOVES meat.

Saria:Um actually I'm a vegetarian.

Saria.She never takes baths.

Saria:Yes I do I'm a very clean person.

Saria.She LOVES Mido.

Saria:WHAT HOW DARE YOU I LOVE LINK!!!

Link*in audience*:SCORE!!!

Saria:Hehehe that slipped out...

Now you know Saria.....

Saria:*Blushes*


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Goron Warrior
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Joined: Mon Feb 06, 2006 10:27 am
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Location: The Land of Oz.
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Post Posted: Mon Jun 26, 2006 9:43 pm
Ganon. He loves fuzzy stuffed animals.
Ganondorf: I MOST CERTAINLY DO NOT!

Ganon loves to cuttle with kittens.
Ganondorf: How do you know this? HEY! ARE YOU READING MY DIARY?

Ganon loves to eat chocolate...
Ganondorf: Why, yes I do, I find it....
...off of link's sword.
Ganondorf: NOW I'VE HAD ENOUGH!!!

Ganon is a wimp.
Ganondorf: *BLEEP**BLEEP**BLEEPITY**BLEEP**BLEEP**BLEEP*

Now you know who Ganondorf really is.

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Terminian Captain
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Location: Canada
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Post Posted: Tue Jun 27, 2006 3:59 pm
Darunia. He dresses up like a goth every night.
(I'm not a goth, I love light!)
Darunia. He keeps black nail polish inside of his throne.
(My throne is rock solid! I can show you later!)
Darunia. His head is as rock solid as his throne.
(That was uncalled for, bub. Come down here and insult me like a man.)

Now you know Darunia...

Ganondorf isn't a sage, BTW

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Hylian Knight
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Post Posted: Tue Jun 27, 2006 6:45 pm
I was gonna say that...


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Hylian Squire

Joined: Sun Jun 25, 2006 4:32 pm
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Post Posted: Wed Jul 19, 2006 8:55 am
Saria. In the sacred realm, she sneaks into PG-13 and R-rated movies.
I do not! Movies aren't even invented yet!
Saria. Dyes her hair green.
That's completely untrue! The Great Deku Tree said we're not allowed to dye our hair until we're older!
Saria. Is not an elf, but in fact a dwarf!
Eeeewwwwwww, dwarves creep me out!
Saria. Has a crush on Darunia.
Eeeewwwwwww, he creeps me out too!
Now you know Saria, the sneaky, green-haired dwarf who has a crush on Darunia!
No you DON'T! This voice is lying!


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Zora Guard

Joined: Wed Nov 09, 2005 4:39 pm
Posts: 159
Location: Columbus, Ohio
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Post Posted: Wed Jul 19, 2006 10:00 am
Princess Zelda. She has a brain tumor the size of a deku nut.
Actually it's the size of the Deku Emerald.Wait, D'oh!
Princess Zelda. Is Engaged to Ganon.
No WAY!
Ganon: WHO TOLD YOU THAT!?!?!?!?
Princess Zelda. Is secretly a manophobe.
Nuh-Uh, I'm very public about that
Princess Zelda. Is dating Link just to get Mido.
What?
Link: I Knew IT!!!!
Princess Zelda. Came to Hyrule ILLEGALLY.
What? There isn't a border for me to cross.
Now you know Princess Zelda
Stupid Voice

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Hylian Knight
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Post Posted: Wed Jul 19, 2006 2:46 pm
Impa.She's scared of the dark.

Impa:What are you talking about I'm the Sage of Shadows for heavens sake.

Impa.She's dating Rauru.

Impa:I am not he's like 300 years older than me.

Impa.She is mentally retarded.

Impa:HOW DARE YOU I AM EDUCATED IN 3 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES AND I HAVE A Phd IN SHEIKAH PHYSICS!!

Now you know Impa the Sage of Dummy land...


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Terminian Captain
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Post Posted: Wed Jul 19, 2006 6:09 pm
Zelda. doesn't wear underwear

Zelda: I DO TOO! its has flowers and laces on-... hee... hee...

Zelda. is really a man.

Zelda: no i'm not. not that i know of.

Zelda. is jealouse of Saria because link likes her better.

Zelda: well... kinda. but link loves me!

Link: ummmmmmm... zelda i have a confession to make. i've been cheating on u.

now you know the real zelda.

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Hylian Squire

Joined: Sun Jun 25, 2006 4:32 pm
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Post Posted: Wed Nov 29, 2006 3:11 pm
Nabooru. Lives in the Deku Palace whatever that is and when I eventually get MM it's going to drive me insane.
Hey! I don't even know where that is!
Nabooru. Only got to be a sage because they needed a Gerudo with attitude.
I deserve to be a sage! I'll prove it, see?
*takes out a picture of Ganondorf with hearts on it* Oops... :oops:

Nabooru. She's responsible for the pinkeye epidemic in Hyrule.
My eyes are beautiful, and I've never had pinkeye in my life!
Now you know Nabooru, the diseased wannabe sage who lives in the Deku Palace!
No you don't! IT'S ALL LIES!!!

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Post Posted: Thu Jul 26, 2007 9:02 pm
Voice: Darunia shaves his legs
Darunia: what i do not i like the stubble from my new razor.....wait no!
Voice: Nabooru changes her color with the color of link's clothes. she wants to match

Nabooru: yea i do that because im so jealous of saria and zelda......no!
Voice: Zelda the sage of time jealous of saria malon and nabooru what a jealous freak. who also dresses in link's clothes
Zelda: I LOVE YOU LINK! curse you nabooru saria and malon
Link: * deep in the audience* TRIPLE SCORE!
Voice: Ruto is she really naked? people ask that the answer is no it is a suit that ganon wears to suduce Link.
Ganon i mean Ruto: NO I DONT!
Voice: Impa works for ganon thats why she always looks like shes about to strike:
Impa: MUAHAHAHA!
Voice: Saria likes to hang from the Great Deku Tree's nose and say "Im a pretty booger
Saria: no i dont *whispers to GDT "why did you tell them* this is an outrage!
Voice: Finally Rauru a clean cut guy....... or is he?
Rauru: Wow this guy is good! wait.....let me think......HEY!
Voice: now you Know Your Sages

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