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 An Over The Top Bad Writing Contest! - Deadline May 21st 

Vote for the best worst story here:
Poll ended at Wed May 25, 2011 6:16 pm
leftironboot 20%  20%  [ 1 ]
Tetromino 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
Zetsubou 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
Darth Citrus 40%  40%  [ 2 ]
Invader Phil 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
RupeeLord 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
Ninten* 20%  20%  [ 1 ]
masterbx 20%  20%  [ 1 ]
Zeldaeinstein 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
Total votes : 5

 An Over The Top Bad Writing Contest! - Deadline May 21st 
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Post An Over The Top Bad Writing Contest! - Deadline May 21st • Posted: Fri May 06, 2011 10:20 pm
Alright guys. I'm hoping we can make this a semi-occasional event, seeing as there shouldn't be that much work to do.

This is a contest to write the most over the top BAD short short story. You can submit as many as you want, though keep in mind that doing so might split your vote. :P

Once the deadline has passed, I will make a poll and the winner gets eternal infamy. There are no awards planned for this, though if this picks up some steam I might make a special medal for it.

Here are the rules:

- No longer than 250 words.
- Must be over the top.
- Any genre is fine, pick the one you think will make people cringe the most, or something.

Note: Bad writing means that the writing is grammatically correct, it's just...a bad story. It's delicate balance. :P

Go forth! Deadline is May 21, midnight mountain time. Poll is now open. Ending date is May 24, 2011.

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Post Re: An Over The Top Bad Writing Contest! - Deadline May 21st • Posted: Sat May 07, 2011 1:58 am
Do we just post the stories here, or do we PM you and you'll post them up all together, or what have you?


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Post Re: An Over The Top Bad Writing Contest! - Deadline May 21st • Posted: Sat May 07, 2011 3:17 am
The rain came down like water from a watering can. It was very cold outside and nobody wanted to get out of bed. That is, until it happened. It was the aliens. They were everywhere. Even where you thought they wouldn’t be, they were. And they were very, very big. However, Dave wasn’t scared, because he was as strong as an angry rhinoceros and just as angry too. He flew to the world where the aliens came from and punched their king very hard. The king started to cry and sent more aliens to attack Dave but he punched the first one very hard too and also he punched the rest of them. The aliens were all crying around Dave, but that wasn’t enough to stop him. But then he decided to stop because all of the aliens were so sad. He looked into the king’s one giant eye and saw lots of compassion and understanding, so Dave decided that the king and all the other aliens did not need to be punished. Dave smiled at the king and the king nodded back at him. They shared a moment of intense and fiery rivalry before shaking hands and then hugging. Dave had decided to teach the king how to be a better king and so he invited the king to stay with him. The king smiled and got into his rocket ship to fly to earth so that he could live with Dave and learn to be a better king.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

EXACTLY 250 words, yo'. Gosh it is hard to be just... really terrible and not like... funny bad but just... bad. >_> GOOD LUCK EVERYONE!

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Post Re: An Over The Top Bad Writing Contest! - Deadline May 21st • Posted: Sat May 07, 2011 8:49 pm
The following story is Horror. YE ART WARNED. :P

Stinky-Sticky-Green-Blob

His name was Pete. Not Peter, just Pete. It had been the name of his dad’s favorite horse back when he lived on a farm and in that mysterious time when he SUPPOSEDLY was a kid. Pete didn’t believe that was possible. Old people were never kids!

But, one day, after his dad got home from working at Weird, Weird Lab Inc., he stuck something into the fridge and told little Pete not to touch it, nor to look or even handle. Yet, that night…Pete decided to peep. What harm could it do?

So, that night, when everyone slept, Pete tiptoed down stairs and slowly opened the fridge…a fridge that was dripping green goo. And when he peeped, he saw, to his surprise, a small creature made of green goo—a very sticky, angry looking green goo.

“Why are you angry, Mr. Goo?” He asked.

“Yes!” replied Mr. Goo. “It’s the Stinky-Sticky-Green-Blob to you!”

Then the Stinky-Sticky-Green-Blob consumed. He consumed the entire fridge’s food, the fridge itself, the whole house and everything in it (besides the cat), and then the city. Then he ate all of New England, the whole West Coast, marched on Washington D.C. and ate it too. Then he ate all of the Americas, moved to Europe and finally, ate the whole world! All except one little island where he left the cats.

They were his downfall. The cats rebelled and killed the goo, and the two humans on that island started all over again…the end.

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“Asphixation, defenstration, breathing wool, decapitation. Drinking from a lava pool, driving drunk to look so cool. Crazy bees sting you a lot, eating any rats you caught - all these ways that you can die. Don't forget poisonous pie!" -Classic SmashQueen, Fri Aug 16, 2013 11:03 pm
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Post Re: An Over The Top Bad Writing Contest! - Deadline May 21st • Posted: Sat May 07, 2011 9:28 pm
May cause sadness:



Nobody understood Nigel. His parents hated him his teachers hated him and he had no friends. All those people were stupid. He tossed his black dyed hair off his face, he looked away from his Naruto Fanfiction, he needed food and the adventures of Zero McRavenblood (his OC) would have to wait.
As he made himself a peanut butter and jam sandwich he thought of a new poem to add to his collection, he needed to write it down as soon as he got back to his room. It was the perfect representation of his dark and misunderstood life, a tear rolled down his cheek just thinking of it.
Just then, a portal opened in that table and a tentacle grabbed his sandwich. This made him sad.
Then the tentacle grabbed him and pulled him into the portal.
The other side of the portal was a dark room.
The tentacle told him that he was special and that he was needed to beat the Happy Bunny who made everyone’s life bad.
So Nigel went to the Happy Bunny's secret lair that was a jumping castle that he didn't let anyone else use and he went to the bunny there.
He told the bunny the new poem he made and the bunny was made sad buy this and he stopped being mean.
The tentacle sent him back and gave him his sandwich, and Nigel went and Finished His fanfiction. Knowing that he was clearly better than everyone who didn't understand him.

*************************************************************************

250 exactly, also this nearly made me cry blood trying to be so emo. >.....>

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Post Re: An Over The Top Bad Writing Contest! - Deadline May 21st • Posted: Sat May 07, 2011 9:31 pm
Deven "Buffalo" Wings sat eagerly at the table of his favourite restaurant. A pretty lady sat across the room. Her eyes sparkled like diamonds polished with the ear wax of a thousand bees. He walked over to introduce himself.

"I saw how you ordered that sandwich," he smouldered. "I thought maybe you would like to go out with me."

The pretty lady blushed furiously. Her name of Isabelle Mexico Koala.

"I work for the government," she said, in hushed undertones. "It could never be."

Deven turned away, his heart broken like the pieces of an incomplete jigsaw puzzle. The waiter delivered her sandwich. The waiter's name was British Q. Monroe. Suddenly a motorcycle burst through the window of the cafe, a spray of glass showering the customers like an inconvenient rainstorm.

Deven leaped into action. He dove at the pretty lady's table, taking a bullet to the shoulder as the motorcycle driver attempted to assassinate her. She gasped in shock. With his other hand, Deven grabbed the sandwich and hurled it at the spinning motorcycle wheels. The motorcycle exploded. Deven collapsed into Isabelle's lap, her hand pressed against his wound.

"I guess we have a lot in common," she said, breathless.

He looked into her sparkling eyes, and slowly, and with the intensity of two desperate anemones, they put their mouth on each other’s mouth.

End.

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Post Re: An Over The Top Bad Writing Contest! - Deadline May 21st • Posted: Sat May 07, 2011 9:37 pm
The Story of Laurie (Romance)

Laurie always loved men with an extra dark, extra mysterious past. They were the best kind. The kind of men any girl who was a beautiful rainbow haired and rainbow eyed beauty would want! It got better still; her full name was Laurie Mysteria-Extra Rainbow-Spectacular Lair.

Thus, one day in High School, she meant a boy. A beautiful, extra dark, extra mysterious past kind of boy named Terry. He told her, she needed to get a life. She did not have rainbow hair or eyes, she was not beautiful. No, she was delusional.

That day, she went home and cried…again. Why couldn’t Terry see what kind of an angel she was? SHE COULD—no WOULD—be his. She sparkled, she glittered, and she even shined brighter than the sun. She would prove him wrong!

Then she heard a knock at the door. She opened it and gasped. There was extra dark, extra mysterious past—Terry! Standing in her door way holding a bouquet of roses for her! She gave him her biggest grin, showing her amazingly, sun bright teeth.

“Ah…hi Laurie.”

“Those are for me?”

“Ummm…”

“Oh Terry!” A voice said from behind her. Laurie turned. There her ugly sister stood in a red dress with a diamond ring on her finger. What was going on here? How did someone like that get to know her Terry? “Thank you for the roses. Oh, and…let’s…let’s get going…”

They drove off and all Laurie could say was: “Nooooooooooooooooooooooo…!”

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“Asphixation, defenstration, breathing wool, decapitation. Drinking from a lava pool, driving drunk to look so cool. Crazy bees sting you a lot, eating any rats you caught - all these ways that you can die. Don't forget poisonous pie!" -Classic SmashQueen, Fri Aug 16, 2013 11:03 pm
There's always another secret... ~ Mistborn, Sanderson


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Post Re: An Over The Top Bad Writing Contest! - Deadline May 21st • Posted: Sat May 07, 2011 10:15 pm
Tomato Man was the greatest hero in all of outer space. He had slayed space dragons, eaten nasty space food, and he had even ridden a pretty space horse. However, most of all, Tomato Man didn't like to be bossed around. That was where Sergeant Mustache came in. "If you don't go take out the space trash, I'm going to boss you around!" threatened Sargeant Mustache, making Tomato Man cringe in fear and release a ketchup-like goo from his rear. "Right away, captain!" said Tomato Man to Sergeant Mustach, who was not a captain. "Epic fail!" yelled Sergeant Mustache, breaking the fourth wall and stroking his luscious mustache. Tomato Man proceeded to take out the space trash when he noticed something peculiar. Digging through the trash and getting covered in space cat feces in the process, he pulled out a shiny nickel from the trash. "This will look great in my collection!" he exclaimed, excitingly tucking his prize away into his delicate tomato skin. Suddenly, Tomato Man was attacked by a ferocious, roaring space platypus. Tomato Man punched it in the face and it exploded, shooting platypus goop everywhere. Sergeant Mustache arrived and tasted the goop with his finger. "Just right!" he remarked satisfactorily. That's when Tomato Man turned to Sergeant Mustache and said, "I have something to tell you."

"That you love me?" replied Sergeant Mustache with a hopeful glare. Tomato Man looked up and stared at him. "No."

Spoiler: show
"I'm a vegetable."


Right at that moment, everyone died.


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Post Re: An Over The Top Bad Writing Contest! - Deadline May 21st • Posted: Sat May 07, 2011 11:25 pm
It was band practice when Martin was practicing his instrument for band. Just then a fellow student who just so happened to be in band walked up to him, his left foot getting in front of his right foot, then his right foot following right after the left foot. Left, right, left, right... it was like a perfect rhythm of foot walking, kind of like in the video game Martin had played, only the character in the video game wasn't in band, so Martin thought to himself "This band member probably hasn't played the game". Speaking of the student in band, that same student walked up to Martin, and she told Martin "Hey Martin". Martin replied with "Oh hey". The band student that wasn't Martin said "So Martin, are we gonna hang out at McDonald's tonight?" She told this to Martin. Martin replied with "Yes, we'll hang out at McDonald's tonight. Are you bringing your sister?" The girl band member said "Um.. no, I'm not bringing her." Martin said "Oh, well it would've been nice if she could have come". The girl band student said "Oh, she's coming, I'm just not bringing her". Then Martin said "Oh I see, how is she getting here?" The girl said "She said she'll get dropped off by her boyfriend at McDonalds. But only later. It's his birthday, after all." Martin, with a great frown on his face, said to her "Wait.. she has a boyfriend...?" Then the girl whose parents named her Katrina said "Yeah, I thought I remember telling you. They've been together for like weeks." Then before Martin could say anything else, Mr. Turner, the band teacher, asked the two students why they haven't been practicing their instruments. Martin began wrapping the linen on the practice dummy's leg.

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Post Re: An Over The Top Bad Writing Contest! - Deadline May 21st • Posted: Sun May 15, 2011 10:14 pm
Everyone hated Bryan. He had no real friends, his family hates him, his teachers hate him, and he's number one on the FBH's (Federal Bureau of Hatred) hate list. He had enough. He decided to blow up the sun. His plan was to steal a ton of sonic canons from the army.

***

He had failed. He was shot down before he could get inside the army base. He then said, "*Navi* you. You Muthu*Navi-ing* *Navi*!!"

"Shut up kid," said an army soldier.
The army tossed his body into the sun and everyone threw a party.

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Post Re: An Over The Top Bad Writing Contest! - Deadline May 21st • Posted: Mon May 16, 2011 12:20 am
Day 1367:

It was cold. Too cold. I need to check the generator.


Day 1367-b:

Aliens are attacking the generator. They found our hideout. We must fight them off.

Day 1367-c:

I lay here. Bleeding. Alien shot my head. Everything going dark. If you find this notebook, warn the others. The Alien's weakness is.....the head.



END.


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Post Re: An Over The Top Bad Writing Contest! - Deadline May 21st • Posted: Mon May 16, 2011 5:20 pm
OK, let me get things strait. These books are different entries, and not as one entry.

The Death Book: (Book 1)
Once upon a time, everyone died. THE END!

Epilouge: After everyone died, there wasn't a single funeral. Why you ask? Because everyone died. There was no one left to attend one. Let alone arrange one. So these restless spirits roamed the Earth. They decided that they would scare the first living person they saw until they had some sort of funeral or prayer.


This one is kind-of wierd, because something happens but everyone's dead.

The Love Book: (Book 2)
Once upon a time, everyone fell in love, THE END!

Epilouge: Because all of the restless spirits fell in love with each other, they decided that they won't scare people. They tried to not scare, but there was argument about the subject. So they decided to scare only one person every 5 years.


The Life Book: (Book 3)
Once upon a time, everyone came back to life. THE END!

Epilouge:
After everyone came back to life, they started to rebuild the city. It took a while but they were able to make their city back to what it was. Then they saw an asteroid coming for them. It didn't kill or injure anyone, but they city was completely destroyed. The never lived happily ever after.

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Post Re: An Over The Top Bad Writing Contest! - Deadline May 21st • Posted: Thu May 19, 2011 10:03 pm
Justice of Peanut Butter.

My name is Gary Sue. I'm short, blue-eyed, and love a rousing game of Solitaire. Everyone thinks I rock socks and sock-hops, it's much too difficult to hide my extreme talent. This is a story about a regular old extreme day in my life.

It was a dark and stormy night as I acquired all of the necessary components. My family was out doing less extreme things with their lives, working or something. I lay the first two components on our table, my work was lit only by a single strawberry scented candle. It was hot so I needed to wipe the sweat of my brow. Unscrewing the jar, I stabbed the contents with my machete, placing it upon the already established yeast moulds.

Quickly I finished the contraption, skulking away into my extreme[i] fortress, my room. I devoured the Peanut Butter sandwich with much gusto, lightning flashing across my chiselled face. I died from my peanut allergy and had the most [i]extreme funeral ever. Justice was served, as the world was not ready for someone so fantastic as the only Gary Sue.

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Post Re: An Over The Top Bad Writing Contest! - Deadline May 21st • Posted: Thu May 19, 2011 10:26 pm
Simon



Simon was a boy like any other. He went to school like a normal kid. He went to church and went of vacations with his loving family, whom he had good relations with. He was average at sports and pretty good at math. He liked video games and he loved pizza. He also had a small group of friends he always hung out it. Simon was a pretty ordinary guy who lived an ordinary life. Then he grew old and died.


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Post Re: An Over The Top Bad Writing Contest! - Deadline May 21st • Posted: Thu May 19, 2011 10:40 pm
All-Blown up

The Sun blew up. Earth wandered in space suffering a frozen doom. Then it crashed into a ton of asteroids and blew up. Everyone died. THE END!

Cody

Cody had fought in a war and battled a stalker. Then he died. THE END!

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