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 The EDN Spooky Story Collab Spectacular~! 
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Hylian Squire
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Post Re: The EDN Spooky Story Collab Spectacular~! • Posted: Wed Oct 26, 2011 8:45 pm
This story starts out with a child that feels over-responsible for all living things in his life. One day, his entire family falls deathly ill. Naturally, he blames himself for this and, unable to bear the sad faces of his family, he runs off into the forest. . . while in the forest, the youth has a vision of a brighter future, however, there is one person missing from this picture, anyways, when he woke from his premonition, he cut his finger on a thorn of an unusual color and from this finger prick, he suddenly falls as ill as he felt his family was, so he figured he had to get home for fear of death and to see his family, if they were ok, they were, but the child was getting sicker by the minute.The family took him to the hospital the next day, the doctors, finding nothing, dismissed the case. But the family never gave up, they looked for all possibilities, they researched all known cures, when finally, the young man had told them to give up. They respected his wishes, he made absolutely sure they listened and did as he asked. The one thing he could not do, though, was get them to leave his side. And so, when he finally passed, the family wept and held a private funeral, during the burial, the coffin suddenly EXPLODED in a black whirlpool, sucking the family in, they met the boy in the coffin confused as to what was happening. The boy, for reasons his brothers, sisters, and parents could not fathom, held an angry glare on his face. He spoke with a menacing growl, "YOU, THE FAMILY I WOULD HAVE DONE ANYTHING FOR!" "The people I met here tell me it was you who killed me!" He softened,"So, since you are the ones to blame, I will give you a choice, my parents, you die and my brothers and sisters will forever be haunted by me, or the other way. . ."
(This is my first horror, so please don't criticize it too harshly)

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Hylian Knight
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Post Re: The EDN Spooky Story Collab Spectacular~! • Posted: Wed Oct 26, 2011 9:20 pm
It's not the most well written story, but it has merit. You should work on pacing and overall sentence structure. And just a note, please do not overuse the colours like that, it got a bit hard to read in the middle. It's best to keep everything the default unless certain specifics would appear better in a different colour. Example: James was quite angry at his brother, "You dare defy ME?!" he yelled. Something along those lines.


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Hylian Knight
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Post Re: The EDN Spooky Story Collab Spectacular~! • Posted: Tue Nov 01, 2011 2:01 am
My judging shall be done some time this week. However, I must bring forward a last minute entry (submitted to me via email) by a mysterious non-member by the name of Naxios10. This person simply wished to participate in the Collab and did not wish to receive any prizes, as he was not a member here...I know what you're thinking... "Why would you let him submit if he wasn't a member here?" I answer that question with the following submission.

A Commotion on Hyrule Field:

On a sunny Din's Day morning, Agitha made her way out of town to her favourite bug finding spot in Southern Hyrule Field. It was ideal weather for catching the rare Stalfos beetle, which somewhat resembled its namesake by dint of a bone colouration, and a ribcage-like thorax. Fortune smiled upon little Agitha that day as she found not one, but three of the elusive bugs!"Oh! Mr Stalfos, Mr Stalfos, would you like to be part of the Royal Guard at Agitha's Castle?" sang Agitha as she collected them in little glass bottles, glittering green in the bright sunlight.

"Well well well! What do we have here, lads?" croaked someone from behind the small girl. "Looks like we found our rich little 'princess' all alone... We hear you, ahaha, have some money to spare, yeah?" guffawed an unkempt and foul-smelling man. Agitha quietly sealed her last Stalfos beetle away, and stepped a little further from the group of bandits, before raising her frilled umbrella in a defensive posture. The posse of thieves chuckled amongst themselves, and casually hefted their weapons. Full of confidence, one grinned and stumped forwards...

Without warning, Agitha darted forwards and struck the man twice with surgical precision. "Aaargh!" screamed the unfortunate man, clutching his face. "Ah haaaagh ha HAAAAAAARGH!!!" he continued. His comrades jeered at him, taunting him for his outcry. Slowly the man turned around, revealing his destroyed nose and the bloody remains of his eyes. "Help!" he sobbed in terror, reaching out desperately. "I-I c-c-can't see!". Angry mutters broke out amongst the group, and they advanced towards Agitha. The girl cocked her head at them and opened her mouth, issuing a horrible, unnatural screech. As the men closed in, discomfited, a strange rustling in the tall grasses and flowers of the field came in reply, slowly increasing in volume. With a shout of triumph, the lead bandit charged Agitha with his battered sword – and was disarmed in a blur of movement, leaving him gawping at the little girl. Agitha held the sword out at arms' reach, wrinkled her nose, and delicately tossed it to the ground. Then, with blinding speed, something flashed forward. An instant later, the ill-fated assailant found Agitha's umbrella buried deeply into his gut and out through the other side, gasping and panting as the pain sought to overwhelm him. He tried in vain to move, but all control of his body had deserted him, as if a deadly poison or some maleficent influence had taken hold. "Oh, but it gets worse than this, doesn't it, Sir Connor?" twittered the girl to no one in particular, smiling vaguely. The other thieves came to a halt and looked around in fear as the ground shuddered, seemingly in reply.

Suddenly, a huge Moldorm erupted from the ground behind the diminutive girl, its armoured serpentine body undulating towards the remaining men with its toothy maw stretching out. Agitha met her victim's rolling eyes, transfixing them so that he could see the mirth in her own as she cradled his chin in her hand. Her smile widened as a wave of insects poured from the inside of her umbrella and began to eat him from the inside out. Just as he was to expire, Agitha forcibly opened her umbrella, shredding what little of his internal organs that were left. The man stopped breathing, and fell backwards in a mess of his own blood and gore, insects scrambling over his remains in their rush to devour him. The handful of would-be attackers screamed in primal fear, and jolted into action, they abandoned their weapons and fled towards Hyrule Castle Town.

Rounding a small copse of trees, they chanced upon their blinded comrade, who was on his hands and knees and crying for help as he bled. To their horror, out of the grasses came a wave of black, like the shadow of a malign cloud moving across the land. From all sides it poured, growing in mass and height as the tiny creatures climbed onto and over each other in a maddened frenzy of bloodlust. Once again the men froze as their blinded friend was overrun and dragged down by the seething mass, screaming and flailing in vain. Now surrounded and bereft of all hope, the bandits pressed together and awaited their doom with clenched teeth and closed eyes. Suddenly, there was silence – the constant skittering of the deadly wave ceased. Hardly daring to believe their luck, the human wrecks slowly opened their eyes, to see that the hordes had stopped just metres from them. A curious sliding and scraping sound soon replaced the silence as Agitha approached serenely, riding her pet abomination, creating a wake in the sea of insects. The wretched thieves threw themselves onto the ground in supplication and begged for their lives almost incomprehensibly. Agitha glanced at the individuals grovelling in the dirt, before addressing the insects. "They really have been very naughty you know... and naughty people have to be punished, don't they?".

Sir Connor swooped down and devoured one man whole, whose screams were muffled and then cut off as a series of awful crunches split the air. "That's enough, Sir Connor! You've got to watch your weight!" chided Agitha, as the living carpet of bugs closed in. One man fumbled with his knife, making a ragged slash across his own throat in a desperate attempt to speed his demise – but one made in vain, as the torrents of voracious bugs began to pour down his new orifice. Unable to scream, he gurgled and convulsed horribly as he was eaten from the inside out. The other remaining man could manage no reaction, overcome by the ordeal and left catatonic. He lay there, stunned, until he joined his comrade in a cacophony of pain and suffering. For a while, all manner of insects flew through the air, propelled by the agony of the doomed, flailing in their death throes until finally, they were still. Agitha daintily dismounted from Sir Connor, bade farewell to her little friends, and sighed in satisfaction. As the bugs receded, she tiptoed over to the bloodied skeletons and plucked a beetle from one of their eye sockets, placing it in her umbrella. "Oh, Mr Beetle, it's nearly leaf juice time! There's scones, you know!" she announced sweetly. And with that she skipped away, merry as could be, leaving naught but bones to show for the bloody carnage of the day.




With 1077 words, this piece is just over the limit, but I forgive it on the grounds of Stalfos beetles.....that is all. (link to the story on dA: http://naxios10.deviantart.com/art/A-Co ... -266498948)


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Hylian Knight
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Post Re: The EDN Spooky Story Collab Spectacular~! • Posted: Fri Nov 04, 2011 7:26 pm
And sadly this comes to an end. I must say, I was disappointed with the turn out but was pleased with the work I DID get though. So without further ado the results!




In third place, receiving 1000 EDNB, with her short but spooky story is SMASHQUEEN!

I found your story quite interesting. It's style suited the genre, and a I applaud you for it.



In second place, gaining 1500 EDNB, with her devilish tale is Tetromino!

I thought the imagery you implanted in my mind was effective in creeping me out, and the end was sudden and somewhat unpredictable, just as horror should be (not including the psychological type of horror)...


And without further ado, the WINNER of the EDN Spooky Story Collab Spectacular IS!



*drumroll*

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DIN'S FIRE!




No just kidding it's Naxios10.



Because Naxios isn't a member of the forums, he does not receive any prizes, however he goes down as writing my FAVOURITE Story.


I always thought Agitha was somewhat off, but this story made me see her in a light I never thought of before....and will never unsee....




So that ends the contest.....for THIS holiday! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA~!




If any of the winners still want a copy of the Stalfos times, just PM me and I will....somehow try to get that going....


And the monies will be out shortly. And NO I didn't pick Naxios so I wouldn't have to pay 2000 EDNB to anyone :P Because CLEARLY I have enough EDNB to back my original claim XD.

So...yeah...Until NEXT TIME!


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Post Re: The EDN Spooky Story Collab Spectacular~! • Posted: Sat Nov 05, 2011 3:21 pm
Cool, man. Have to agree, Naxios deserved 1st even if he wasn't a member.

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"Hello ladies. Look at your villain, now back to me. Now back at your villain, now back to me. Sadly, he isn't me, but if he stopped toying with you and started messing with the flow of time, he could attempt to look like me. Look down, back up, where are you? You're in the palace of my dreams, witnessing the man your villain can't look like. What's in your hand? Back at me. I have it. It's the Light Force, flowing out of your beloved princess. Look again. THE PRINCESS IS NOW DEKU NUTS. Anything is possible when your villain tries to look like me and not a pig-beast. I'm on a Helmaroc."

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